Positive Induction Birth Story – Charlotte & Jacob

Birth Stories, motherhood

I was recently contacted by Charlotte, after posting my own birth story to celebrate Fox turning one. She told me that she recalled seeing my Instagram post about the birth of Fox last year and feeling a little frustrated at the time, as she too had planned a water birth and was practising hypnobirthing but was 12 days past her due date and desperate to meet her baby. In the end Charlotte chose to accept a little help in getting labour started but still used everything she had learnt and gave birth to her baby boy in the birth pool just as she had hoped. Her experience was a very positive one and she credits hypnobirthing for helping her achieve the calm and empowering birth she wanted. She also said that hearing about my birth inspired her to keep calm when she was in labour. Therefore she has kindly agreed to share her birth story in the hope that it will similarly help and inspire others who might find themselves in a similar position.

So here we have the beautiful birth of Jacob, in Charlotte’s own words…

I discovered hypnobirthing when I was around 5 months pregnant and prior to this I had no idea that birth could be anything other than the noisy, dramatic ordeal that is usually found in TV and films! I became obsessed with reading any positive experiences I could find, even when things hadn’t gone to ‘plan’ women felt empowered and in control and hypnobirthing was a common theme. It was a lightbulb moment for me and from then on I knew I wanted a calm and positive birth experience.

We did a hypnobirthing course in Sheffield in January 2016 and from that point I told everyone who would listen that I was excited about giving birth. Most people thought I was bonkers and were quick to tell me how unbearably painful labour is. This only made me more determined and I practiced my affirmations and visualisations every night in the run up to our due date (18th March 2016). This date came and went and I became increasingly impatient for labour to start.

At 40+4 weeks pregnant my community midwife gave me my first sweep and told me I was already 2cm dilated – whoopee! I thought, and waddled off home expecting contractions to start imminently. But nothing happened. The following week (41+4 weeks) I had a second sweep and was still 2cm and apparently “very stretchy” (lovely!) – I had had a couple of ‘shows’ in the days running up to this but still nothing changed. 

By this point friends and family were calling and messaging me daily and I was growing more and more frustrated. We were going for long walks every day, I was frantically bouncing on my birthing ball at every opportunity, I had a course of induction acupuncture (and continued to practice acupressure at home) – we tried everything, but this baby was not shifting! I knew how important it was to be calm and positive for things to progress naturally but I was finding it increasingly difficult. I had not prepared myself for how negative this would make me feel, I felt my body was completely letting me down.

We were booked in for an induction on Wednesday 30th March when I would be 41+5 weeks. I was incredibly anxious about this as my research (no thanks to google) told me inductions usually meant one thing – intervention – which I desperately didn’t want. We arrived at Chesterfield birth centre early in the morning and after a couple of hours of monitoring and another sweep were told as I was low risk they would send us home. They were busy with emergencies and thought we would be better off at home relaxing, this was of course the best place for us but I was about ready to demand they broke my waters and put me on the drip (thankfully my partner, Mike, talked me out of this option!!)

A good nights rest was the best thing and even though nothing changed overnight I felt much more positive. On the morning of Thursday 31st March I was given another examination (still 2cm and the midwife said she was surprised I wasn’t contracting on my own – me too!!) and we decided our best option was a slow-release hormone propess (a bit like a tampon which is placed close to the cervix and left in for a number of hours to start contractions artificially). This was put in at 11am and over the next number of hours they monitored the baby’s movements and if there were any ‘tightenings’ (their word for contractions). In that time Mike and I played card games and went for walks around the hospital grounds but I still didn’t feel like I was going into labour…

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At 6pm we asked if we could go for another walk and the midwife told me to find some stairs and go up and down them as many times as possible. This clearly resonated with Mike as he found the hospital’s outdoor gym and had me on the stairmaster!! It was either this or the fit of giggles that ensued but on the walk back to the ward I began to notice the elusive tightenings, finally I started to believe I might actually be going into labour!

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These tightenings continued for the next few hours but were in no way painful, they also weren’t very consistent so I still wasn’t holding out much hope that I would have a straightforward labour. I was inhaling clary sage and lavender oils and listening to my favourite hypnobirthing mp3s and was allowed to sit (but not bounce) on the birth ball whilst on the monitor. I tried not to obsess over the tightenings the monitor was showing but I knew things were progressing and at 10pm (just as Mike decided to leave me to make a phone call to his business partner) I was hit with my first proper contraction. It was intense but I was elated! I was finally in labour! 

An examination at 10.30pm put me at 3-4cm dilated, up to this point we had been on the ante & postnatal ward and when we had asked the midwives when we should go to the birthing centre downstairs, their response was always “when you feel like you need more pain relief” which I didn’t feel like I needed at all! The pressure had been building in my back but Mike had filled my hot water bottle which I had pushed to my back while I leaned over the bed walking my legs and concentrating on my breathing techniques which was helping me keep control. I had mentioned intermittently to the midwives that I hoped to try the water in a birthing pool but since this was off limits if you are induced and need continual monitoring I wasn’t pinning all my hopes on it. By some miracle though the one room at Chesterfield Birth Centre (Room 5) with a mobile and waterproof monitor was available for me to use – I was overjoyed and so relieved! My contractions were now coming very close together (probably because of the hormone propess which was still in) so we had to move quickly – Mike grabbed all of our possessions (it was at this point I realised we’d brought far too much stuff with us!) and I somehow managed to waddle down the stairs breathing through the contractions. We arrived in room 5 and I honestly felt like we’d just got to a 5* spa hotel!!

The next hour passed in a bit of a blur, the midwife who had shown us to the room had started to fill the pool but very politely left us to it and told us our labour midwife would be with us shortly. I think she showed Mike how to refill the water (with a hand sensor on the wall – very hi-tec!) and said I could get in when I wanted. I had in my mind that I should wait till I was 5cm before getting in the pool so I decided to continue leaning over the bed and breathing with my hypnobirthing MP3s in my earphones. My contractions were coming one after another by this point but I was honestly enjoying every single one. It might have been because of the two weeks I went overdue willing labour to start but I felt stronger with each surge. All the pressure was in my lower back but somehow Mike knew exactly where I needed my back rubbing which helped immensley. He was also trying to help me into my bikini but by this point I think my body was struggling to catch up with how fast things were progressing and my legs were shaking and I was sick. 

Thankfully our lovely labour midwife, Liz, arrived around this time and encouraged me to get into the water. It was now 12.01am on the 1st April which meant our baby would most definitely be born on April Fool’s Day!! The water felt absolutely amazing, such a comfort – like a warm blanket wrapped all around me. Liz told me I would need to keep my bump immersed in the water which was quite a challenge because even though I am an avid yoga fan and practised religiously throughout pregnancy my legs ached so much crouching in the water – I actually found this more uncomfortable than the actual contractions! Nevertheless I needed all my focus to get a deep breath before each surge began to manage the intensity of them. I had learnt about ‘humming’ instead of pushing but I started humming my out breath sooner than I had planned and much noisier than I ever thought I would be but for whatever reason it worked for me (and thankfully all the labour rooms were sound-proofed!!). The lights were dimmed and an MP3 player was found to connect my iPod to put my favourite tracks on repeat and I rested my head against the side of the pool, fully in my birth zone. 

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At around 2.30am I was managing the contractions fine but was keen to know if I was progressing and since it was 4 hours since my last examination Liz suggested I get out of the water for this. Lying on the bed was extremely uncomfortable and I remember thinking how glad I was that I didn’t have to labour like this the whole time. My legs were shaking again but I was extremely pleased to hear I was 6-7cm dilated! I was quietly confident that I was close to meeting my baby but knew it could still be a while yet. 

I still had the mobile monitor on so our baby’s heartbeat was also providing a soundtrack to my labour so as much as an inconvenience it was to have this on it was also of great comfort hearing a strong and sound heartbeat in the room with us. 

I was ridiculously thirsty but thankfully had packed a bendy straw so Mike could hold a cup of water for me to sip from – much easier than the effort of actually lifting a cup to my mouth! I was also aware that I needed to keep going to the toilet as I had remembered reading that a full bladder can stop things progressing. So as much as I didn’t want to leave the water I got out a few times to use the toilet. 

Soon after the 2.30am examination something changed and it was clear that my body was beginning to push without me even being conscious of it happening. It’s hard to describe but I could feel my baby moving further down with each push. Having watched countless episodes of ‘one born every minute’ though I knew this stage could take quite a long time. I continued using my humming and didn’t do any forced pushing, I had written in my birth plan that I didn’t want to be guided in how to push but after a while I stopped feeling the full intensity of the contractions and was getting nervous of things slowing or even stopping so I asked my midwife for some assistance at this point. Since we still weren’t sure if I was fully dilated or if my waters had broken she suggested she break my waters and examine again to check if baby was really ready to be born. I didn’t have to get out of the water for this as there was a corner of the pool where I could step up. Apparently there was very little water when they were broken but Liz confirmed I was fully dilated and this process must have made a difference because things definitely changed again from them. 

I was still crouched in a squat position leaning against the side of the pool and remember asking if the room could be any colder as I was so hot (apparently the air con was as cold as it could go though). I was drifting in and out of my “relaxing place” but heard bits of quiet conversations Mike and Liz were having. And I think Mike was slightly over-relaxed by the calm environment we had created as I remember hearing Liz offering him a coffee a few times so I think he was dropping off – unbeknownst to me!!

Liz had a mirror to check how things were progressing but she suggested I change positions and try laying on my back in the water holding my knees to see if this would help baby move down that last bit. I remember seeing her put an apron on and a second midwife arriving which were all signs that we were nearing the end. At this point I remember needing to push with all my might but I still had no clear indication of when the contractions were coming and the midwives told me I was the best judge of when and how long to push! Somehow though they finally said they could see baby’s hair and when I noticed them looking at the clock I pushed so hard, knowing they were getting concerned. The crown of his head was born and while I rested between the final two contractions the midwives and Mike laughed out loud because his head started slowly turning side to side – I was clueless as to what was going on though but glad that they had no cause for concern! Waiting for the last contraction felt like an age but it finally came and with that I felt my baby’s whole body emerge from me and my midwife said “you can catch your baby if you want” – something I originally hadn’t thought I’d be able to do – and I’m so glad I did and was the one to bring him out of the water to be the first person to touch him and see his face. It was the most incredible moment and I just remember saying “oh my god” over and over. 

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It was 5.21am on Friday 1st April 2016. I feel like my whole labour was around 7 hours as I had first felt a proper contraction at 10.30pm the previous evening. I remember feeling like I could have gone on for a few more hours but was obviously overjoyed to get to the end and meet our baby. As intended we waited a few minutes soaking him in before we checked if we had a boy or a girl and were so happy when we saw he was a boy. After probably about 10minutes, which felt like 10 seconds, Liz told us the cord had stopped pulsating and could be cut. Mike didn’t want to do this so the midwife did but instructed me in cutting it a bit shorter which felt very strange but I’m glad I did it! The water was drained from the pool and I passed baby to Mike to keep him warm while I waited to deliver the placenta. I was going to stay in the pool for this (I thought this would mean less mess for the midwives – ha!) but without any water it was really uncomfortable for me and there were no signs of it so the midwife suggested I get out and move to the bed. I asked if she thought I should have the injection at this point to speed things along but since I hadn’t had any other drugs before this she suggested I try and do it naturally. Lo and behold a few moments later I felt some period-pain-like sensations and after a few pushes my placenta was delivered. I was so intrigued to see it and asked the midwife to explain all the different parts of it to me which was fascinating.

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Whilst the midwife checked me for tears (all hail perineum massage as I had one small graze which I hardly noticed post-birth) Mike was able to have some skin to skin time before they weighed him (8lb 2oz – even more miraculous that I didn’t tear!) and put a nappy on him. He was then handed to me for skin to skin and first feed which was just the most amazing feeling. We were brought tea and white bread toast (the best I’ve ever had!) and after this Mike looked at me and said “I’m just so tired Charlotte, do you mind if I have a nap?!” He then slept on a big bean bag in the corner of the room and I was alone with my baby boy who we decided to name Jacob Peter. Our hypnobirthing mp3s were still reverberating around the room and I remember feeling like I was still in a dream as it all felt too good to be true.

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I know luck was on my side with certain factors that led to Jacob’s birth being so straightforward but I also know that without putting in a lot of time and effort to learning the techniques of hypnobirthing I would not have had such a positive experience. I am so thankful for that and I’m sure it helped my first days, weeks and months of motherhood to also be the best of my life. I will forever be an advocate of hypnobirthing and will try and tell any pregnant lady willing to listen to me to give it a try!!

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Many thanks to Charlotte for sharing her beautiful birth story and wishing baby Jacob a very happy first birthday.

Sharing positive birth stories is so important as reading them helps women feel more confident in pregnancy and as they approach their own births. The more relaxed women are, the better when it comes to birth and positive birth stories really help with this. Hypnobirthing also really helps by equipping you with practical skills you can use in labour. If you’d like to do a course with me please visit The Positive Birth Company to find details of courses I have running including dates and availability.

If you have a positive birth story you’d like to share please send it to me at thedoublemama@gmail.com. 

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When did I become a Maverick Mum?

motherhood

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So when Not On The High Street contacted me asking me if I wanted to join their #MaverickMum campaign because they thought I represented the ‘anti-supermum revolution’ and was a perfect fit for their campaign and brand, I was simultaneously honoured to have been contacted, perplexed by the meaning of ‘Maverick Mum’ and confused as to whether this should be taken as a compliment or an insult to my mothering skills?! (Obviously I wasn’t really insulted…).

Honoured, because hey it’s NOTHS contacting me and wanting to work with me and because being a ‘Maverick Mum’ sounds pretty damn cool (don’t you agree that ‘maverick’ is such an awesome-sounding word?!), perplexed because what exactly is a Maverick Mum?! And confused because is being a ‘perfectly imperfect’ mother a good thing?! Why am I seen as an anti-Supermum? Can’t I just be a regular Supermum?! sob sob.

But of course I’m not the stereotypical Supermum they’re alluding to; I don’t bake, I barely clean, I don’t make playdough and only very occasionally do I make shit out of cardboard boxes (and even then my eldest expresses actual surprise that I have any craft skills whatsoever). I don’t iron. I juggle work with childcare; I work late into the night most nights so that I can ‘be around’ in the day but sometimes think my baby might be better off in a nursery with me working 9-5pm rather than spending the day playing with paperclips under my desk. I feed my baby fishfingers. I get by trying to give my kids good experiences, trying to have fun, trying maintain a relationship and most importantly trying not to fu*k the whole parenting thing up so badly that my kids end up in therapy. So yeah NOTHS got it right. I suppose I do inadvertently represent this so-called ‘anti-supermum revolution’. But actually I think I’m just representative of real-life, unfiltered, everyday mums. #NorMum as someone on Instagram cleverly put it.

I don’t get it all ‘right’, I’m certainly not perfect… but I don’t really try to be either. I’m happy to admit I’m just winging it. I have so little interest in what I or my baby should be doing that this time round I’ve not read a single ‘how to’ style parenting book (and that’s quite liberating!). I don’t even really know what milestones my baby should be reaching at what age. I just let him get on with it in his own time… (then wonder if perhaps I should look into it since he’s 14 months+ and doesn’t walk or talk!!)

 

I looked up the definition of ‘Maverick’ for some clarity and the wonderful world wide web told me this: an unorthodox or independent-minded person.

 

When I consider my motherhood journey (it’s been almost a decade now since I first fell pregnant!!) in terms of maverickness, I think that although I might now be independent-minded, I certainly haven’t always been…

With my first baby, I was the total opposite. I was the anti-maverick and totally dependent on what every other person had to say about how to raise my baby. I was what you might called a text book mother, doing it all by the Gina Ford book. That’s not to say I was perfect at all. In fact it’s probably more accurate to acknowledge that I was borderline mental; I was an anxious nervous wreck! I was convinced I was going to do something wrong with catastrophic consequence. The responsibility of having to keep a tiny, fragile, human being safe 24/7 was overwhelming. Being just 21 years old and many hours away from any family support did not help.

I persevered with breastfeeding even though one nipple was literally hanging off and my baby was vomiting up blood that he had drunk from my bleeding breast. Vile I know. All because everyone and all the books had told me ‘breast was best’. I don’t think any sane person would consider a half-severed nipple to be best for any party.  Then I was utterly convinced my baby would spontaneously stop breathing at night and so I used to set my alarm hourly to check on him, as well as use one of those sensor pads which sat under his mattress and would go off if it didn’t detect him breathing. None of this is Maverick. I read every book. I cooked all the vegetables and pureed the life out of them. I followed the guides on how to raise babies to the last letter. So maybe I was what you’d call a ‘good’ Mum, but did I enjoy being a Mama?! I don’t think I left any time for that.

Second time round and a good many years later, with not only the experience of raising a baby through the toddler years, the tantrums, the potty training and the primary school transition, but having done it all by myself as a young single parent, I felt totally differently going into Motherhood Round 2.

This time I’ve not read a single guide, I introduced a bottle (shoot me) and the devil’s milk (aka formula – lols) when I needed to, and I still haven’t started taking my 1 year old to a music class. It’s not just that I am so much more relaxed this time but I have enjoyed being a Mum so much more. In fact I have loved having a newborn and it hasn’t been stressful at all. I have cut myself all of the slack and just followed my instinct. And I guess that my now independent-minded approach to motherhood does make me a Maverick Mum by definition. And I’m happy and proud to be seen as a Maverick Mum because being a textbook mum was no fun at all.

And although I worry that sometimes my baby is somewhat neglected as I juggle everything and fed just a tad too much junk, I also know that he is way more chilled and contented than my firstborn who must have felt the anxiety that oozed from pores, even whilst I fed him his mushed-up organic risotto that I’d lovingly prepared. My second born, albeit with a fish finger in hand, is in contrast being raised by a confident and happy Mum, and I think that makes a profound and positive difference.

So to finish, I just want to say that of course not all first time mums are going to be like I was (many will be confident, capable and chilled out from the start), but I have a strong suspicion that many will feel like I did. And so I want these Mamas to know as they scroll through Instagram, which is saturated by heavily-filtered snapshots from the lives of seemingly confident and super-capable women, that it’s ok to not feel very Maverick. In fact it’s more than ok, it’s pretty normal. And I want all the new Mamas reading this, who are finding things hard, to know that it does get better and it does get easier.

It’s a frickin’ tough gig being a parent for the first time and finding yourself wholly responsible for the life of this precious fragile thing, that you care so deeply about. The weight of that responsibility is heavy. But know that it passes and you will find your own stride eventually. You might not start out on this mothering journey feeling very maverick, but sure enough a little down the line, when you’ve found your own rhythm and grown in confidence, well, then I think all Mums are #MaverickMums and bloody (anti-supermum) bona-fide Superwomen too!!

 

If you want to jump on board and join the #MaverickMum campaign AND be in with a chance of winning £500 of vouchers to spend at notonthehighstreet.com (whoop!) then just see below…

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Finally, if you’ve enjoyed reading this post it would be totally mega (and massively appreciated) if you could spare a couple seconds to vote for me here. I’ve been nominated by Closer Magazine for their Mum Blogger of the Year award 2016. It literally take just two clicks: one on the link to vote and one by the name of my blog (The Double Mama). Thank you!! x